If I were really using an arrogant tone to show just how narrow my little world is, this is what you would be reading:
"Let me tell you all about how atrociously dumb and inferior Americans really are.
The way they embrace their religion with no true independant thought, no doubt, no questions and hence, no real faith, is dumb.
They just read the book like its a f***ing manual for life. The bible is God's word, not 'How to be a good person for dummies' for Pete's sake! God's talking to you
, not playing 'Simon says', stop embarrassing Him and use
that brain he gave you.
The way they think entrepreneurs are just the bee's knees is primitive as well as dumb.
The way they eat is so damn stupid it's a wonder any of them are still alive. They'd be healthier if they ate proper food and smoked a pack a day, I swear! The f***ing SHAMPOO
has more natural ingredients (99% natural the bottle used to claim) in it than some of the stuff they put in their stomachs. And as long as it's fat-free or sugar-free, they *actually* believe they can scoff down as much as they like!
The way they run their country is dumb; they vote in November then happily sit on their ever-widening behinds and watch 'Survivor' for the rest of the year.
The way they let television pollute their life, their emotions, their personality, the way they allow it to dull their sense of humor, the way they don't mind sounding like someone on 'Friends', because, after all, 'Friends' is funny and cool and it beats working at being funny and cool in your OWN way, is dumb.
The way they teach is dumb. They have plenty of fun and games at school then expect the kids to pluck the actual lesson they must learn from the fuzzy cloud of fun and games. If the kid doesn't get that all the fun and games that happen at school have a hidden objective and that he must pay attention as if he were learning a lesson, he's lost. He's branded as ADD
. He no longer counts. Basically, it's like throwing half the kids out in the trash.
No critical thought. Ever. Any critical thought they believe they might have can be traced straight back to either SNL
or the West Wing
. Expecting the common American man/woman to actually give birth to an original thought is a lot like asking Thomas Kinkade
to paint something else than a cottage, something he's actually *seen*, like skyscrapers. Can't be done.
Expecting the common American man/woman to have any sort of critical thought is like asking a stick insect to bear fruit.
So if you ever witness an American voicing an original
critical thought, he's on a screen and it took 10 writers for THAT little miracle to happen.
The way they aren't worried that their attention span is so limited, is dumb. Getting a drink, taking a sip, getting a snack, nibbling, getting some gum, chewing it, playing with their cell phone are all strategies Americans use to stay focused on what someone is saying. They cannot just sit and listen.
It's incredibly ironic that they think ADD
is an illness. Wake up guys, this is who you ARE!
Thankfully, they've started to market drugs for adult ADD now. Soon, every American household will be happily popping Ritalin along with the daily vitamin, the crappy coffee and the fat-free, sugar-free, vitamin enriched, artificially flavored, 100% chemical yet-amazingly-somehow-good-for-you breakfast."
I could go on for pages. Heck, I could write a book about all the ways Americans are dumb, but...
... none of it would be true.
I can't deny that I have, at various stages of frustration and fury when confronted with a situation I didn't understand, let these thoughts cross my mind. In fact, I've taken great pleasure in formulating twisted theories, throwing insults and predicting the downfall of the entire American population in my head.
However, for the record.
For every item in the list above, I can think of a French person it applies to.
Every single American I
see on a regular basis is intelligent, active, well informed, well educated and as far removed from superficiality as I've ever seen, altogether proving every item above a lie.
Finally, ever notice how when someone is having a bad day if they try to be funny, it comes out sounding sarcastic; if they try to be clever, it comes out sounding cynical; if they try to be wise, it comes out sounding pompous and if they talk about whatever it is that's making their day bad, they sound bitter and self-pitying?
If you're having a bad day, I guess you should just shut up.
I'm having a bad day. I should therefore shut up instead of inadvertently offending readers.
Problem is, I'm having bad day after bad day, not through any particular event, it's not like I come across 5 yellow cars every morning or anything (for 'The curious incident of the dog in the night
I'm just not a happy gal these days.
And here's the thing:I don't want to give up my blog. If I am on my way to a full blown depression, I'd like to have something to do when they lock me away.
So let's strike a deal; I will stay away from my blog on my worst days and you, reader, can be especially forgiving of any offending material.